Characteristics of Abusers
Domestic violence is referred to as dating abuse, domestic abuse, family violence, intimate partner violence (IPV), spousal abuse and battering. This is a pattern involving abuse of one partner by the other partner. The two partners must be in involved in intimate relationship in dating, family context, cohabitation or in marriage (Gosselin, 2010). It has been noted that domestic violence varies with culture and takes a number of forms. Some of the common forms of domestic violence are assault, physical aggression, threats, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, intimidation, domineering, controlling, economic deprivation and stalking among others (Collins & Spencer, 2002).
Abusers display a number of characteristics, some of the common characteristics are constantly keeping track of what the other spouse is doing, picking up quarrels on little things, accusing the other partner of being largely unfaithful, discouraging or preventing the partners from connecting with family or friends or school or work, furious while under the influence of drugs and alcohol, financial deprivation on the other partner, humiliation of the other partner even amidst other people, destroying things or property highly valued by the other partner, threats of hurting partners, actual battery of spouses, threats of engaging weapons in the violence, forced sex and blame games (Fazzone, 2007).
Warning signs that are associated with potential abusers identify with constant unclenching and clenching of fists, yelling or shouting, abuser constantly pacing on the floor and glaring facial expression. It is worth taking control of situations while dealing with abusive partners. It is worth avoiding private meetings with abusive persons, and in return prefers engaging counselors in managing the complex situations.
It has been noted that abusers involved in domestic violence in most cases blow up with small provocations, display signs of excessive jealousy, isolates themselves, feels insecure, have defaced self image, shows blame games, often are drug abusers, connected with history of family violence, cruel to children and animals, engage weapons, thinks that violence solves conflicts, engages physical strength as a way of solving arguments, verbal diarrhea, hold to stereotypes, controls the other partners, quick in getting involved in extra marital affairs, display expectations that are unrealistic, arrogant while making love and are unpredictable or moody (Gosselin, 2010).
Abused men as compared to the abused women rarely open up to the authorities. Men in most cases experience emotional and verbal abuse, a fact that is less admitted or accepted basing on diverse cultures. In most societies of the world, people think that women are the culprits of domestic violence, and that men are the abusers. The trend is changing with modernization where men are increasingly reporting domestic violence. In most cases, if women decide to be violent, then men are subjected to serious injuries (Collins & Spencer, 2002). The authorities in the earlier times did not recognize men reporting spousal abuse, but the concept is changing with time as more and more men are reporting spousal abuse. Men in most cases find it complex and difficult discussing issues of abuse in families, and in most cases will rarely admit being abused, there are high tendencies that the society feels that the man is not in control of his family. Women admit fast on issues relating to spousal abuse.
The facts of domestic violence indicated that few men are ashamed on reporting cases of being abused by women. Professionals in law enforcers and health care in most cases foster alternative explanations to signs, injury or bruises caused by domestic violence (Fazzone, 2007). Most judicial systems in the world highly support women in domestic abuse, and tend to disbelief men. Men in most cases tolerate pains inflicted by their spouses than women do. Women in most cases do not have the physical strengths of causing injury to men hence resort to weapons.
Abused men and women in most cases show low self esteem, in ways that they have a strong believe the abuse could be controlled or managed. Abused persons in most cases oriented their strength on hope that one day it shall come to a stop and that things will get better (Gosselin, 2010). Most women tend to cling to such relationships for the sake of children, especially if the children are young. A number of women call it quit after the children are grown up and easy to manage.
Domestic violence is related to substance abuse. Substance abuse identifies with use of drugs which are harmful to the addicts. In most cases, drug abuse has been related to alcohol abuse but the concept goes beyond alcohol to: barbiturates, substituted amphetamines, benzodiazepines, methaqualone, cocaine and opioids among others. Use of substance abuse leads to criminal penalties, social harm, physical harm and psychological harm. It has been proved that substance abuse leads to behaviors considered antisocial. Drug abuse is part of risk factors as pertaining to the offenders in the domestic violence. It has been proved that violence in most relationships happen after the intimate partners are involved in substance abuse (Fazzone, 2007).
Domestic violence and substance use results to offending relationships since one partner is at high risk of being victimized by the other party. Substance abuse has been related to after effects related to victimization of spouses in domestic violence. Substance abuse inhibits partners from protecting themselves and that substance abuse disorients the minds of the drug addicts in ways that they act in an antisocial way.
Domestic violence has been related with intentional psychological, emotional, physical force and sexual harm inflicted to other persons. Drug use has facilitated domestic violence since the violator’s acts in absence of normal reasoning. Research has shown that women who engage in drug abuse have high likelihoods of getting abused by their spouses. It was noted that men who practice drug abuse have high chances of abusing their partners; more than fifty percent of people involved in domestic violence have a problem with addiction. Substance abuse extends domestic violence from the parents to the children, most of the murder cases happened while one or both partners were under the influence of substance abuse. Teachers have cited a need of intervention for children whose parents engage substance abuse, since the negative influence is extended to the educational institutions. Women involved in recovery programs in most cased tend to result in violent trauma, which may lead to posttraumatic stress disorder (Collins & Spencer, 2002).
Mitigating domestic violence can be done through a number of ways depending on the context. Some of the methods are telling trustworthy friends, making arrangements relating to safety such as establishing a safe place to retreat, quitting the relationship and changing contacts. Another option is contacting domestic violence shelter or hotline where the institution offers counseling, legal rights on both partners and temporal shelter. Another option is getting a witness to spousal abuse, it is critical taking notes or recording on time, dates and what occurred during the spousal abuse. Hotline numbers dealing with domestic violence identifies with 911 among others.
References
Collins, J. & Spencer, D. (2002). Linkage of Domestic Violence and Substance Abuse Services . National Institute of Justice , 3-21.
Fazzone, P. A. (2007). Substance Abuse Treatment & Domestic Violence: A Treatment Improvement Protocol. New York: Workman Publishing Company.
Gosselin, D. K. (2010). Heavy hands: An intro to the crimes of family violence (4th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson/Prentice Hall.
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