Communications

Communications

The purpose of this paper is to offer a review of the most valuable communications’ topic as evidenced by the skills that I have acquired and how this has enhanced the communication process in my relationship. Within the communications class, various topics have been tackled including ambiance in relationships, confessions in relationships, according liability to one’s own feelings and responding to the same by according comprehensible messages, employing the adult vs. child/adult perspective, assertive vs. aggressive/reactive behavior, the art of persuasion and conflict identification and management. From a subjective perspective, “recognizing types of conflict and how to manage them” has been most significant especially to my family, my daughter, my peers, superiors and juniors within the learning and working environments.

During my growth period as a young child, I had a broken relationship with my father. My father worked as a humorist and commanded a significant level of artistry in the practice as evidenced by the number of shows and level of applause that he got in his performances. Every time I attended my dad’s shows, I felt proud of his performances especially with the fact that he always had a way with people that changed their somber faces into smiling ones. I also enjoyed the shows very much and wished that they could continue off the official performances as we headed home. However, this was always met with an unconcerned and angry performance, as dad would hurriedly bustle me out of the theater into his car as we headed home. Any form of conversations or questions I would ask him in the car would be met by an irritated tone and he acted very intolerable towards me.

This went on until my adult life and one day I gathered courage to question him with regard to his abhorrence which he clearly admitted that he did and that the justification given for his behavior was that my conception and birth was unplanned for and therefore infusing an element of clumsiness in his budding career. My dad blamed me for his inability to travel to far events or international performances just because of my mistimed delivery. The conflict was actually very hurting but I had the truth with me. Now as a single parent at an early age just like my father, I have always strived to avoid these types of conflicts between my daughter and me. Although the above given is a single example, I have come to realize that trying to manage parenthood, studies and work is quite hard and the stress attached to all factors I can easily divert to my daughter  because of her vulnerable nature. With the job being underpaying, I have often faced the same dilemma as my father as to whether my daughter came as a disguised blessing or forthrightly as a burden.

Being a fulltime mother, scholar and worker as a legal assistant is very demanding and at times by the time I get home all I feel I need is a good rest and not the several demands that my daughter maybe making like baking together, watching movies or helping her out with the homework. During this period, my mind is always lodged on other things that I accord high priority within the give setting like cooking and cleaning the utensils before another long day begins. Of course, to my daughter her demands tend to be what she has prioritized within the given situation and my lack of participation tends to affect her. I know this because I have been through the same situation with my father and as a parent, I have had the desire to offer a better growing environment to my daughter. Through the conflicts classes, I came to the realization that parent child conflicts are an unavoidable occurrence yet of most significant element lies in the management of the same.

Actually, the presence of conflicts is more preferable in relationships as in one way it reflects the communication of the colliding viewpoints as opposed to the pretentious stance, which is more unconstructive. I learned that the biggest inhibitor to parent and child communication was speculation where both parties tend to shut in their views and perspectives and focus on according their own perceptions with regard to the other according to their limited understanding. I have noted that I fall prey to this unhealthy observance perhaps due to the neglect I faced as I child where I only has room to speculate on the reasons as to why my father always acted annoyed towards me. Before an interaction with the course, I always endured that with my daughter, I would not offer explanations as to the reason for a given decision. However, I would assert my power as an adult on everything that she did. This was attributed to the fact that I always felt responsible for the various decisions in her life with the problem being I never accorded her the chance to express her views.

She would therefore become angry and hurl items in the house or in her bedroom and for such end up being grounded without any idea as to why the given decision was made. However, after the course, I leaned that I was forcing my daughter into the speculation practice that would lead her into making wrong conclusions that would inhibit the ability to learn from the process. Therefore, I always strive to ensure that I communicate the rationale behind a given decision in a manner that I own my feelings before letting my daughter do the same. This simple way of conflict solving has proven to be very helpful, as it has aided a mutual association that has helped me to learn the emotional needs of my daughter and her preferences which entirely is her personality. On the other hand, the same has been true to my daughter such that she knows what I like and dislike and therefore to prevent any form of confrontations, she would rather avoid the dislikes.

Another thing I learned from the course is that I was a catastrophizing parent by the fact that I always referred to my daughter’s past mistakes every time a repetition of the same occurred. This would hurt my daughter very much as I later learnt from her during a session in which we both communicated our feelings as she had come to brandish herself as a failure for not being able to correct her mistakes. Although I admit it is hard not to bring such elements during conflicts especially when I am angry, I have learned to ensure first that I am calm to attain an objective view of the issue before I can communicate well to my daughter. Work and schooling conflicts have been caused by instances where two or three of the given environments collide. For instance, my daughter may have a requirement of an academic day in school during a working day and thereby necessitating a divided share between the two issues.

Going to the school without my employer’s awareness or within a short time of notice has always sparked notable conflicts. Therefore, the communication class has taught me how to acquire a proactive approach into handling of the three associations for diminished cases of conflict. Planning is quite imperative in this area with a diary it has become easier in ensuring that each of the important activities is noted down such that I can have adequate time to notify the involved parties before the actual period. However, in instances where such conflicts tend to arise, I have learned that honesty and offering a succinct explanation for one’s actions is the best way of communication.

As a conclusion, in this paper I have discussed the benefits of the communications course dealing with conflict identification and solution and how this has enhanced my relationships especially with my daughter, and on the minor side with the work and school environments. One of the benefits has been putting and end to speculative instances in my relationship with my daughter and secondly in avoiding a catastrophizing attitude. The last benefit within the learning and working environments has been the ability to acquire a proactive approach in balancing the three interactive areas in my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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