Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s Theory and Job’s Suffering
Comparison between Job’s story and Kubler-Ross’s Theory
In On Death and Dying, Doctor Kubler-Ross’ book, she was keen to note that not everybody goes through all the five experiences or stages of grief and in the order she arranged them. According to her, there are five stages in a grieving process; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. When an individual is in the denial stage, he asserts that he is okay regardless of the pain that he may be \experiencing. Though the stage assists the person to face the feelings of grief and survive the loss without fear, one sees life as meaningless (Kübler-Ross, 1969). When in the anger stage, the person tries to reflect on why bad things are occurring in his life and who can really be blamed on what is taking place (Elizabeth, 1977). During bargaining, there is weighing between what ought to and ought not to happen to the person. The person also formulates the things that should be done so as to postpone challenges. During depression, the person ceases to care as he thinks he will either die or the problem has to persist no matter the measures taken. Finally, a person prepares for the results during the acceptance stage (Garrett, 2008).
The story on Job’s suffering correlates to Kubler-Ross’s grief process. Job had lost all the spiritual, financial, emotional, and physical things that had been given to him by God. These include falling sick, the wife being against him, and losing all his wealth and children (Elizabeth, 1977). The wife advised him to neglect God so that he would avoid all this suffering. However, Job did not heed to this advice (Kübler-Ross, 1969). Job 1: 21 denotes denial where Job is claiming that God gives and has taken. In addition, denial is evident in chapter 10 when Job tells God that He is aware of his innocence. Job’s anger can be seen in chapter 2 where he enquires if anything good can be expected from God. Job 7: 11 indicates his apparent anger by claiming that he will not just keep quiet but will lament in his soul (Hodder General Publishing Division, 1992).
In Job’s story, there is bargaining in chapter 9 when Job enquires whether there is a person who can mediate between God and him and get rid of the rod God has placed on him so that he can cease being frightened (Gangoli, n.d.). In Job’s case, depression is experienced throughout his entire suffering. In Job 10: 18, he is asking God why he had to bring him into this world. He also wishes that he died before being seen in this world by anyone (Elizabeth, 1977). In chapter 13: 15, there is acceptance when he makes the decision to have hope in God regardless of all that has happened in his life. Following a conversation in chapter 42, there is evidence of acceptance when he comprehends that God was only testing his faith to see how much he loved Him (Elizabeth, 1977).
In both Kubler-Ross’s Theory and Job’s suffering, there is denial, anger, and bargaining. Acceptance is experienced as the final stage. However, while Kubler-Ross’s Theory argues that depression is the fourth stage, it is experienced in almost the whole process of grief in Job’s life. Another contrast is that Job rotates through the grief stages that Kubler-Ross identified.
Joy and the grieving models
Finding joy during difficult and challenging times can be extremely difficult. Finding joy is equivalent to rejoicing and it can be considered as a measure against grief. Gangoli (n.d.) argues that healthcare professionals should come up with strategies to assist patients in pursuing joy following the acceptance stage. Some of these measures include taking part in activities that create fantastic memories, journaling of thoughts, having talks with the loved ones, and joy in peace. The patient and family can participate in creating an environment where there is joy (Gangoli, n.d.). So as to create joy, a provider can provide encouragement, demonstrate compassion, or share smiles with patients, which can play a role in helping the patient to transition from grief to joy.
Joy and grief can be thought of as twin sisters that converse to listening hearts. The two have unfathomable feelings’ depths. In addition, both end up in gratefulness in that while grief emerges from the heartrending appreciation of all that is most important to us, joy reawakens in us the wonders of life even after recognizing it precariousness (Garrett, 2008).
Handling grief
One of the initial steps towards dealing with grief is identifying and acknowledging its existence. During this stage, there is a need for self-reflection and self-awareness. In this regard, there is need for reflections on whether the person is experiencing signs of suffering or if there are close friends who have indicated any signs. This is important in identifying the grief and it helps in the application of appropriate coping mechanisms (Kübler-Ross, 1969).
Affirm: this is the second step and it involves making a commitment towards addressing the grief by caring for oneself, utilizing the available resources, and validating feelings. The next step is assessment (Gangoli, n.d.). After a commitment has been made, there is a need to assess how prepared a person is to act. According to Hodder General Publishing Division (1992),
there is a self-assessment tool through which personal readiness towards action can be assessed as well as the benefits and risks of the actions. If a person is experiencing uncertainties towards taking an action, it is important to consider the roadblocks, rewards, risk, and relevance (Gangoli, n.d.). Finally, an action is taken so as to save the patient from the grief and assist them in leading a normal life. This may involve clarifying the personal values, leaving out time to participate in self-care activities, and identifying support sources that are vital in addressing the feelings one has.
Has the research changed the view on grief?
From the foregoing research, it has been evident that the healthcare provider has a role in increasing or reducing grief in a patient (Chapman, 2007). Regardless of the fact that grief is a normal process, it culminates in a novel normalcy. There is no way through which an onlooker, patient, or caregiver can reduce the grief that accompanies the disappointments and shocks in ever day life. However, it is extremely vital to be present with others and the self during the entire grieving process. More significantly, words are unnecessary in a majority of the situations. There may be no solution in many of these situations (Kübler-Ross, 1969). The sole real option is having the desire to continue living, allow oneself to grieve, support the grieving through a comforting presence, and search for hope in a renewed life focus.
If attachment is recognized as a natural process, then grief is also natural and emerges when things that are dear to us disappear. It was worth learning that dealing with grief appropriately initiates insight. On the contrary, dealing with it unskillfully results to complications. The ordinary grief reaction manifests behaviorally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. The grieving process has phases and depending on individuals, there may be a relapse to phases that had been experienced before. There are some practitioners who advise that participating in a task-oriented approach that actively enables a person in grief to resolve and process the grief reaction (Chapman, 2007). The Theravadin Buddhist’s mindfulness practice is a perfect example on how grief can be dealt with. Mindfulness implies that a person is fully aware of the body and mind conditions during the current moment context. According to Chapman (2007), mindfulness is present in a majority of the modern psychotherapies and the task oriented approach uses mindfulness. With mindfulness, a person who is experiencing grief is able to acknowledge the loss’s reality more effectively and permit the grief’s pain to manifest without anymore complications. If the person experiences pain in the absence of undue reaction, grief’s manifestation and the undermining impact are likely to be resolved. Thereafter, the person in grief can function freely without any impediments.
References
Chapman, E. (2007). The caregiver medications: Reflections on loving presence. Nashville: Vaughn Printing.
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying: What the dying have to teach doctors, nurses, clergy, and their own families. New York: Macmillan.
Elizabeth, K. (1977). On death and dying. London: Macmillan.
Garrett, G. (2008). Stories from the Edge: A Theology of Grief. Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press
Hodder General Publishing Division. (1992). New International Version Bible. Hodder General Publishing Division.
Gangoli, N. (n.d.). This too shall pass. Retrieved June 26, 2009, from http://1stholistic.com/prayer/A2005/hol_buddhism-this-too-shall-pass.htm
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